Semester Break

Oh, how 7 weeks of school passed! It has been definitely a great 7 weeks of school, and I’ve met the most ridiculous bunch of classmates that I would NEVER trade for. Classes have been better, more often than not. I’ve never felt so included and attached to my classmates, but I wouldn’t want to let this feeling go. Surprisingly, I even joined an Interest Group (IG) called Film Factory. Who would’ve thought?! 

I don’t have much to say, let alone update. I love this school, this course. I love the friends I’ve made in these 7 weeks. I love everything, and I couldn’t be happier. 

School’s out for the next 3 weeks, and I already miss my classmates and my friends. 

Film Factory IG.

A classmate from school.

A close bunch of friends I’ve made from my class.

The closest friends I’ve made from class.

Oh, the shenanigans we do in class.

I don’t have a class photo, but these few should be enough to prove my point. Until the next adventure, my friends!

First Week of School

Ah, it’s finally over! The first week of school has finally ended! It was such a tiring week, but despite all of that, it was such a great week meeting new faces and getting to know everyone a little bit better. 

Monday

So we start the school week off on Monday, with my class that day being Effective Communication. I was pretty nervous because I didn’t really know anyone from my Secondary School that I was close to going to Republic Polytechnic as well. I did, however, bump into a friend on the bus to school, so that got me to calm down a little. Surprisingly, my class was at SOH instead of where my course was in (STA), so I got a little bit lost trying to look for my classroom. I did manage to get there on time, so thankfully I wasn’t penalised. I did see a few familiar faces in my Monday class, but we were put in groups by the Facilitator (Faci, for short). Having to do a presentation on the first day of school in front of complete strangers was definitely nerve-wrecking, but I felt comfortable enough that I wasn’t too panicky and anxious about it. In fact, it was definitely fun to see the class bond over a lesson. 

Tuesday

The next day (and for the rest of the week) I was back to my original class in the STA building. Today’s module was Drawing, and while that seems simple, it was like the most horrible deja vu I’ve ever experienced. I took Art in Secondary School, and I solemnly vowed never to draw for school purposes and grades-wise again. Yet, here I am. It was mentally challenging to try and revive whatever drawing skills I’ve learnt for the past 2 years, but I felt like I was starting from rock bottom once again. Despite all that, it was still fun just drawing without expectations and just practicing how to grip the pencil properly.

Wednesday

Here we reach the halfway point of the week, and here we have the hardest module of the semester— Visual Storytelling. You might be thinking,”Visual Storytelling?! That sounds like something you do at a kindergarten!” Well, my friends, you are horribly mistaken, just like how I was also horribly mistaken. This module was a Year 2 Semester 2 module, but due to some revisions in the Course Structure, they’ve pushed it forward to Year 1 Semester 1. It was really such a mind-boggling course; I really thought it was a module that had some Psychology-based structure to it. Again, even if the module was tiring, I still enjoyed the day with my classmates. However, some drama did occur, but I refuse to let it ruin my week.

Thursday

For today’s module, it was Creative Concepts. We got shifted into new groups today and I got to work with a whole new group of people. I got a particular connection with one of my classmates and it was finally great to be able to relate to someone and get a good laugh out of everything you talk about. This day was definitely my favourite day because everything just felt so carefree. 

Friday

Last day of the week! We did Interactive Media & Content Development and again, it was such a fun class. By this point of the week, I was so tired I fell asleep doing research for our presentation. Thankfully, my teammates were pretty cool about it since I’ve done most of the work needed to be done anyway. To close out the day, I went home with the same friend I went to school with at the start of the week. We’ve basically become bus buddies and it honestly feels great to start and end the day with a friend on a long bus ride home.

All in all, the first week of school may have been full of lessons, but it was nonetheless a great time meeting new people and mingling with classmates. I’m an introvert, but so far school has gotten me stepping out of my comfort zone and into a playing field of getting to know others and putting myself out there for the rest to see. Sure, it’s only been a week, but this is already a better start than I could’ve asked for.

Here’s to the rest of the semester with the loveliest bunch of classmates! 

Freshmen Orientation

Ahhh, what a time to be alive. So the past couple of days had been busy. I had my school’s Freshmen Orientation on the 12th and 13th of April and it was amazing. To be honest, I wasn’t even close to excited about Orientation. In fact, I wasn’t even planning to go. I didn’t know anyone who was in my Polytechnic, let alone my school or my course. The thought of being alone in such a foreign space terrified me. 

But I’m glad that I decided to muster up all my courage and go for the Orientation. The first day was pretty dry. We were all seperated into our designated schools. 

To avoid confusion, my Polytechnic is separated into 7 schools:

1. School of Infocomm (SOI)
2. School of Engineering (SEG)
3. School of Management and Communication (SMC)
4. School of Hospitality (SOH)
5. School of Applied Sciences (SAS)
6. School of Technology for the Arts (STA)
7. School of Sports, Health and Leisure (SHL)

So now that that’s out of the way, my course is under STA, so that’s where I ended up. I, for once, do not have much school spirit. In fact, I think I had none. I never get excited for school events (I really dreaded them especially if they were compulsory), but STA changed me. I’ve never felt so much hype, so much bond between strangers. I knew I made the right choice coming to this Polytechnic, this school. There wasn’t a moment I hated— I loved everything.

On the first day, we were separated into 20 teams. I met so many people from my team, but only one person was in my course. Nevertheless, it was fun hanging out with new people. I did meet a fellow pinoy and we immediately clicked. We went on a discovery trail around school to get familiarised with the campus and also play a few games. It was honestly super fun and enjoyable just to have teamwork and camaraderie between my teammates and I even though we’re all strangers. 

On the second day of Orientation, we were split into our courses and then into our specific classes. That was one of the most terrifying things ever because I was suddenly snatched off my comfort zone with my team and put into another alien space. I did make a few conversations with my classmates for this semester, but I guess I haven’t really clicked with anyone. There is one person that I got to slightly connect with— another pinoy! Well, half-pinoy in this case. Though my class hasn’t got much time to bond, I believe we’ll be able to stick together like glue after a few weeks of school. 

After our class introduction, we went back to our teams. We did have a telematch between schools and I got chosen to play in one of the games. It was fun to get to represent STA against all the other schools and it was just full of energy from start to finish. Towards the end of the Orientation, we had this thing called ‘Jam & Hop’. This was basically clubbing, without the alcohol and more fun. We ended a little later than planned, but I bet you there were no regrets. 

School starts on the 17th of April, and I’ll be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous. Freshmen Orientation was super fun and I’m glad it helped me get out of my comfort zone. I made friendships I know I’ll treasure throughout my Polytechnic life, and maybe even beyond. 

Jam & Hop

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Here’s to more memories, friendships & good times! 

Withdrawal Struggles

When I started working, I knew no one in my department (my other friends were on different departments and different floors of the store). I kept to myself and barely talked. I didn’t see anyone who was really around my age, anyone who I was able to talk to freely and be able to relate.

Fast forward to this point in my work life, I’ve gotten more open and chatty. I’ve met many people, even those around my age, and made some pretty solid friendships I hope will never disappear. Thinking about the inevitable fact that I’d have to quit in 2-3 weeks’ time makes me horribly sad. I’m definitely going to miss everyone I’ve met at work, especially two people. I never expected to become this close to my colleagues-turned-friends, and thinking about never seeing them pains me. Sure, maybe I’ll be able to meet up with them on some occasions, but the fact that I won’t see them as often as I do now kills me. They made me look forward to working, and they made me realise many, many things along the way too.

I know I still have a couple of weeks before I call quits and focus on school, but I’m already starting to have withdrawals. It’s inevitable, really it is, and my track record for keeping in touch with ‘long-distance’ friendships is horrible. However, I really hope I’ll be able to maintain these two particular friendships. These two people are the ones I’d cross oceans for, even if they don’t necessarily return the same favour.

Expressing my feelings and emotions aren’t really my forte, but I hope I’ll be able to let them know how much I’ll miss them and just hanging out with them. Heck, I’ll even pay for a night out of eating just to be able to cap off working with them for a night of talking and a ton of teasing about whoever and whatever.

Do I get attached easily? Definitely. But that’s because I know a good person when I see one, even despite their troubled past, present or future. They probably won’t see this, and it’s probably the best that they don’t, but I’ll miss them.

I’ll miss them so much.

Social Struggles

Friends— who exactly are they, and where do they stand in our lives? Personally, I only like to have 4-5 close friends whom I spill my secrets to. I find it unnecessarily hard to make friends, because I tend to look for those “long-term” ones; those who are able to talk about serious issues like politics to pointless topics like how expensive children’s shoes are. I long for friends who don’t indulge in small talks and give empty compliments. People who publicise how ‘great’ of a friendship they’re having isn’t exactly my definition of a friend. I long for those friends whom you can maintain a healthy friendship with, without having the need to talk or see them everyday. To my closest friends, to the ones who’ve seen my most candid moments, thank you. 

On that rare ocassion when I meet someone that I really want to pursue a friendship with, I will force myself out of my comfort zone to make sure I do everything in my power to keep them. This happened recently, with a co-worker. For the sake of anomity, I’ll refer to him as Eden. 

I met Eden a few weeks ago at work, and I’d be lying if I said he wasn’t the first person I genuinely made friends with at work. Eden’s a very smiley person— a jokester and a knack for teasing people. He’s a warm ball of sunshine and super friendly. He has a certain charisma about him that makes you just want to sit down and talk to him all day about anything and everything. He’s very easy to talk to because he’s super approachable, and he just has that fun, cheery vibe on him. He’s the kind I wouldn’t ever want to let go under any circumstances. 

However, we’ll be parting ways soon— quitting work to continue our respective paths on our education. I wish to keep in contact with him, but I’m unsure if he cares as much as I do. I admit I get very attached to people whom I feel are worth the effort of pursuing a friendship, even if we had just met. Eden just happens to fall into that category. Part of me says we’re just co-workers talking about whatever to pass time at work, but I know we’re already on a friendly level. I just don’t know if he’d want to be friends outside of work, you feel? I’m shy, and asking for his number may seem weird too, but I want a positive person like him in my life. Easier said than done, right? I hope on either of our last day at work (be it his or mine), I’ll be able to get him to take a picture together as a remembrance of the good times we had together at work.

Yeah, I’m a pretty sentimental person who takes pictures to try and preserve something so uncontainable, irreplicable. My point is, it’s hard for me to make friends because I tend to be choosey and picky with who I want to let pass my barrier of secrets. However, when I do find that person on an extremely rare ocassion, it would kill me if I meant nothing to them when they mean so much to me. It’s a constant struggle, because it takes two to tango. 

I don’t want to seem clingy and overly-attached with someone I barely know (which I actually am), but I want to be selfish and have them for myself. Do I still make sense? Probably not. Feelings like this are almost indescribable, but I hope you get the point, sort of. 

I want to clint onto people I care about, but I don’t want to scare them away. I want to hug them and never let them go. I long to have someone by my side, wandering around the city lights with them as we laugh at everything and nothing. 

I want people who are worth having friends without having to worry when I’ll see them again, or knowing I’ll never see them again.

I want people who reciprocrate the same mutual respect and understanding as a friend. 

Do I still make sense? 

17th Birthday

So today, 24 February 2017, I finally turned 17. It was pretty much an uneventful day. I had work from 11am-6pm and spent most of my day trying shoes on kids. When I ended work, I got a call from my family back in the Philippines, and I’ve never missed them so much. I wish they were here to celebrate my special day with me. When I got home, I was greeted by my parents and younger brother with cake and food. It wasn’t extravagant, but the simplicity was enough to move me. I also got a Polaroid camera from my parents, and I couldn’t be happier! I remember when I was younger, I begged them for one. To receive one now was amazing— they remembered! 

The Polaroid camera I got as a present, Raspberry coloured.

I was so excited to use it that I brought it out for a whirl. I ended up using 7 of the 10 films that I had, but it was all worth it. 

Polaroid photos with my friends, though I didn’t get to take with all of them.

Polaroid photos with my family.

All in all, even thought there was no big celebration, I’m glad I still got to spend today with the presence of the ones that I love. Love you guys! 

JB Adventures

My mother’s birthday was on 16 February 2017, and we headed to Johor Bahru, Malaysia for an overnight stay to celebrate on the 17th to the 18th of February. This was such a great way to spend time as a family again— away from work, school, and all the responsibilities. 

We set out on our trip to Malaysia at noon on the 17th of February. Passing the immigration at Woodlands Checkpoint on a regular working day was so much easier compared to the weekends when most people would be on their way to Malaysia as well. When we got to Johor Bahru, Malaysia, we went to the mall across the street for lunch. 

Lunch at Tony Roma’s, City Square Mall, Johor Bahru, Malaysia.

The serving sizes at the restaurant completely caught me offguard— they were enormous! My pasta came in a plate that was bigger than my face! Despite the huge serving sizes, I did enjoy every morsel of the food we ate, simply because it was wonderful. 

After lunch, we then got into a cab and headed out to where we were going to stay for the night— Austin Height’s Hotel & Golf Resort. 

Highway in Johor Bahru, Malaysia on the way to the Resort.

Entrance to the Resort, Tamam Gembira, Johore, Malaysia.

We arrived in about 30 minutes, which was surprisingly quick. We then proceeded to check in to our room, so that we could head to the water park afterwards. 

The huge family suite we were staying in at the Resort. 

The Hotel Resort itself was amazing. Its architecture looked something that resembled a house where a Sultan would stay in, but with a modern twist. 

Stairs leading up to the lifts (on the left) to the rooms.

The hallway outside the suites of the Hotel Resort.

The view from the room’s window, overlooking the golf course.

The hallway leading towards the lifts to the rooms above. 

The view from the hallway to the exit of the Hotel Resort.

After we have settled into our rooms, we got ourselves ready to go to the water park nearby to enjoy quality time together. The water park was mostly empty except for maybe 2-3 other families there so we managed to get the full experience from all of the water slides.

Entrance to the Austin Heights Water & Adventure Park.

I wanted to have a go at both the indoor and outdoor Adventure Park too, but unfortunately we didn’t have enough time to do so as the place closes at 6pm.

Wristbands given at the entrance for admission to the Water Park.

One of the water slides in the Water Park.

The staircase leading up to multiple water slides.

A whole row of water slides separated from the main slides of the Water Park.

Well, more water slides!

And more water slides!

And even more water slides!

The children’s section of the Water Park, with typical structures and functions you usually see.

What was so great about the water slides was that all of them will lead you back to the Lazy River, so wherever you had the end splash, you’d still end up in the Lazy River.

An empty Lazy River at the end of one of the water slides.

The outdoor adventure part of the Adventure Park with all the High Elements. 

Pretty soon, the park was closing and it was time to head back to the Hotel Resort for some rest time. 

In the evening, we went to explore some of the facilities of the Hotel Resort. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to snap photos of it but you can take my word that it was amazing. There was a bowling alley on the very last floor of the Hotel Resort, but all of the lanes were used up by one big family. So we then headed to the Lobby, and from there we found the Lounge area which consists of: an indoor Theatre (that was showing a Captain America movie!), a Games Room, a Children’s Room, a Billards Section, an Internet Room, multiple KTV Rooms (for your late-night singing sessions), and even a Gym! We played billards to pass the time through the evening, and I even got to watch a movie! It was the perfect way to end the day, and it couldn’t have been better. 

Morning came, and we then headed down for breakfast. Again, I was unable to take photos because frankly I was too focused on getting myself plates of food from the complimentary Breakfast Buffet. There baked beans, scrambled eggs, boiled eggs, porrige, hashbrowns, crossaints, and even Nasi Lemak! It was definitely one of the few breakfasts I had that made me feel like royalty. 

After breakfast, I decided to go check out the Jacuzzi and Steambath rooms. I didn’t actually go and soaked into the Jacuzzi (even though I really wanted to), because I always fall sick afterwards and I couldn’t afford to be sick because of work. 

Fancy glittery sink inside the changing rooms.

The Jacuzzi bath, before the water was heated up.

I also found a small walkway which frankly I just found really pretty so I took some snaps of it.

Pretty walkway from the front.

Pretty walkway from the back.

After checking out the Jacuzzi, I headed outside to check out the pool. 

The swimming pool right outside the main entrace of the Hotel Resort.

I would’ve definitely went for a quick swim, but due to time constraints all I could do was admire the huge pool.

Soon, time came and it was our cue to head back. We did pop by again at the mall for lunch at Seoul Garden, and I bought myself a cute bear from Famous Amos as a graduation gift for myself— just 5 months overdue.

Graduation teddy bear I got from Famous Amos in Johor Bahru, Malaysia.

All in all, I had a great time, even if it was only for an overnight stay. I’d definitely come back and maybe even bring my friends along the next time I come here. Till the next adventure! 

Educational Success

As most of you probably know, the past 1.5 months or so has been exceptionally rough. From getting two failing grades in my GCE O’level examinations, getting my EAE Application revoked, to getting rejected by all of my 12 choice courses in the JAE Application. It was one demoralising event after another. The worst part of it all was the wait in between each soul-crushing news; it gave enough way for hope to start building up, which was crushed over and over again. Admittedly, I felt that I was at my lowest point, that I’ve been left with no hope, in pitch darkness with no light to guide me out. I had no one to blame but myself, yet I couldn’t bring myself to face the severe consequences laid out in front of me.

I had a chance to appeal in the JAE Appeal, and needless to say I took that chance. However, I could only appeal to 8 courses from 2 different Polytechnics, and I knew nothing about any of those 8 courses. I went ahead and appealed, but to say I was confident about a successful appeal would be a lie. By then, I had mostly given up on myself to be successful in anything and doubted that I’d get a successful appeal. 

Low and behold! My appeal was approved! I was shaking with happiness because I was finally given a chance to redeem myself, and to prove to others that it’s gonna take more than failing grades and multiple rejections to take me down. I felt myself swell with joy, and the liveliest in weeks! It was honestly a feeling that cannot be described with merely words. I shed a few tears of joy (mainly because I was at work), and once again felt ready to take on the world. 

I am now a student of Republic Polytechnic, studying for a Diploma in Media Production & Design in the School of Technology for the Arts. I do have plans to switch courses for a Diploma in Mass Communication after Year 1, but if I end up enjoying this current course, I’ll stick with it for the full 3 years and maybe even go as far as to pursue a professional career similar to this. 

This is a new beginning, and I hope I’ll be able to make full use of this opportunity to continue my education. When you think it’s the end, it never really is. Life may throw bad event after bad event at you, but I promise you that things will always get better. It’s okay to feel sad and demoralised for a period of time, that’s absolutely normal, but always remember that there is always light in that pit of darkness. To more happy events in 2017 and beyond! 

Educational Struggles II

I am tired. I feel the lowest of lows. I am both empty and full of sadness, disappointments and frustration. Where did I go wrong? What did I do to deserve this?

If you haven’t read Part I, I suggest you would to better understand this post. Posting Results were released today. I hoped for the best but got back nothing in return. I wasn’t posted to any Polytechnic courses. I am, however, able to appeal, but to a mere 8 courses in 2 Polytechnics. I can only choose 3 courses as a final attempt to appeal to enter a course. As of this moment, I’m waiting for my appeal to be settled, but if things go south once more, my other choice of path is to enter a private school (e.g. Kaplan) as another way to get a diploma. If that too inexplicably fails, I don’t have much of a choice but to return to my homeland to pursue my education there.

So much undesirable events has occured in 2017. I want to stay positive but at this point I feel no hope is left for me. 

Be positive!

It’s not the end!

Things will get better!

I appreciate your kind words of encouragement, but it’s so easy for you to say that. Try walking a day in my shoes, try living this life and see if positivity is as attainable as you say. It pains me. It’s as if I’m not allowed to be sad because I have to be happy for my friends. 

I can’t believe I got into some stupid, useless course,

they complained as I admire how lucky they are to even be given a shot to continue their tertiary education. They say they’d rather drop out, while I’m here willing to take any course just so I can continue studying. I’m full of jealousy, shock and disbelief. 

What am I to do?

I’m stuck, and have been stuck, in a waiting game of Life itself.

I wish I could talk to more people on a personal level on how I’m coping, but it’s not like my friends cared enough to even reply to messages. What a way to add salt to my already-gushing wound. 

I feel so alone. 

I want to be able to rely on my friends to be there when I’m down in the dumps, but all I get is swept under the rugs as everyone continues on with the conversation on a different topic, overlapping with shallow small talk about themselves. I want to let out my sadness, but no one wants that kind of negativity around. All I can do is bubble it up.

It’s not that bad.

Yeah, easy for you to say. Nothing remotely devastating has happened to you that could well affect a significant part of your life. 

Homesick Struggles

My parents are immigrants. My dad left the Philippines back in 1999, seeking for a better life to support my mum. In 2005, my mother and 5-year-old me followed my dad to Singapore. I’m 17 this year and I have spent a vast majority of my life here in Singapore, but I still do have very fond memories of my childhood back home. I did start my education back in the Philippines, but managed to continue on pace here in Singapore without getting held back by a year.

We visit home annually, and it became the only time I get to see my relatives and friends. Over the course of a few years living abroad, my friends have started to drift away from me. I wasn’t too upset by it as I made a lot of friends here, but it did made me feel sad that I barely even remember my neighbour who I used to be best friends with. Every year I visit, I’d have lesser and lesser friends I kept in contact. My friends in Singapore compensated for that loss though, as most of them are the same as I am— children of immigrants and have also spent the vast majority of their lives living in in this country. It feels great to have someone close to you to be able to understand exactly how you feel— moving to a whole new country, starting anew with friends and getting used to the system of how things worked. 

The frustrating aspect of living abroad  is that you will definitely miss a lot of family gatherings like birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, funerals and births of new cousins. You’ll also miss out on family vacations, where they spend the holidays together at a resort in just each others’ companies. School holidays here in Singapore doesn’t really sync up with the school holidays in the Philippines, so whenever we visit, my relatives may still be too busy with work and school to have a proper bonding session together. 

Every time I return home, I do get slightly culture-shocked. The differences between the country I live in and the country I came from is quite stark, but it is a good, refreshing change of scenery. The little things that I enjoy seeing at home that I generally do not see in Singapore are:

• the stars literring the clear, dark skies at night
• driving on the road where the sea is right beside you
• looking out the windows and seeing a farm instead of a shopping mall
• being in the company of people who show immense love and care for you

Studying and living abroad can get pretty lonely, especially when things start getting more stressful and tough. It’s those times where you just want to be surrounded by the people who care about you and want to lean on them all for support and motivation to continue what you’re doing. I do, however, fully appreciate all of what my parents have done and sacrificed for my brother and I. My dad left my mum to work abroad for a better job to provide for her and soon-to-arrive me. He worked hard to bring my mum and I there just so that I get a shot at a better education, and even more opportunitied to excel. My mum also continued to work even after my dad went to Singapore for the beneficiary of the family, leaving me in the care of my uncle and grandfather. Life is fast here in Singapore, and I barely see my parents because of that. Going home serves as a way to escape that city life and just lead a slow-paced, relaxed lifestyle, even if it’s just for a couple of weeks every year. 

There are definitely days when homesickness will hit you hard, and those days things will just seem unbearable. When you just want to embrace your favourite aunt and talk out all of your problems, but can’t because you’re thousands of kilometers away. Craving for a simple gesture such as a hug can drive you insane, because sometimes all you want is to be in the company of your family. There is really no feeling that can compare to the ones you get when you’re going home. The hardest part is not the homesickness you feel throughout the year as you live your life abroad, but when you’re leaving home. It feels like someone is ripping out a part of me, leaving me feeling emptier and hollower than usually.

I’ve lived abroad for about 12 years now, and it honestly gets harder and harder to cope with living away from your family. However, I also use them as motivation to always continue to try and excel in my education. I always want to make sure they’re proud of me, even if they’re on a whole other island away. Homesickness is hard to cope with, but it can be slightly neutralised with regular calls and messages to your family. It may not be the same as real-life interaction, but it’s a good substitute to it. As I grow up, I’ve felt a more deeper appreciation for my family. Embrace your family extra tight, because you never know when you’re going to see them again. I’m lucky that I am fortunate enough to see them yearly, but I never take that priviledge for granted. 

If you live away from your family, give them a call or drop them a message. Nothing will warm you than being able to catch up with them on recent family events.